I Love Men and I Cannot Lie

Photo by Jasper Graetsch on Unsplash

Photo by Jasper Graetsch on Unsplash

There was an awards show on television recently. I didn’t watch it, but I did notice the commercials for the event, prior to airing. The two hosts (hostesses) were women, fairly well known in the entertainment industry.

I would prefer to see at least one man there instead. Why not one of each sex?

Have you noticed the commercials on television lately? (I am speaking here of North American TV)

The cosmetic ads feature mostly – all – women – frequently three or four of them, all close up and hugging. Where are the men? Do women really put makeup on so they and their friends can look at each other and take selfies?

Do none of these lovely ladies not have a boyfriend who admires them? Or is that not politically correct any more? Is there something wrong now with wanting to look nice for someone else?

The laundry detergent commercials! Men doing the laundry and often seen with a child or two.No woman in sight, usually. Poor men. Are they all alone? No spouse? No significant other?

It seems to me that two things are happening. Now, I realize that I am basing this on only a small sample of the advertising world, as well as movies and television shows recently, but this is what I think.

Women are now portrayed as tough, strong, and decisive. In control and powerful. I see these heroines have been cast in formerly male roles in many instances. Do I want to see a female portraying every male hero I once admired?


I don’t mind one bit that women get paid for a job well done, and paid the same as a man would be paid. If a woman doesn’t want to marry, doesn’t want to have a kid, let her live her life as she wishes.

But give me back my men. I want my heroes back.

Women, since when does becoming equal with men mean you must lose your femininity and become more masculine? Because that is what I am seeing now.

It is as if vulnerability is now considered weakness. To show any signs of needing another, to have to admit to not being completely capable to doing a thing is wrong.

I have sons. They are grown adults, and not kids anymore (although parents tend to always think of their kids as kids, no matter their age!) All these years, I have seen a shift toward this: References to a child as “she” completely leaving out the boys.

Frequent messages to empower girls.

What about the boys? we mothers of sons ask? What about them?

I believe there is as much prejudice and discrimination towards the sexes as there ever was – but it has shifted.

It is now acceptable to insult the elderly, the overweight and men. Especially white men.

Well, I don’t expect everyone who reads this to agree with me, and that is okay.

I know what I have seen over the years. At my age, I do not like what is happening.

Equality and respect?

“Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” ~ Erik Erikson

“We in the West seem to have made a fetish out of complete individual self-sufficiency, of not needing help, of being completely private except in a very few selected relationships.” ~ Carl Rogers

“The striving for significance, this sense of yearning, always points out to us that all psychological phenomena contain a movement that starts from a feeling of inferiority and reach upward. The theory of Individual Psychology of psychological compensation states that the stronger the feeling of inferiority, the higher the goal for personal power.” ~ Alfred Adler

I admit that I have always found it difficult to make friends with other women. Why? Not sure. Some women can be “catty” and are very competitive with other women. Judgemental too. Maybe that’s the reason.

I do know that I have always got along better with guys. Did I mention that I love men?

The men who like sports, who play sports, who drink beer, who run, who bike, who watch TV when they get home from work, who don’t like to dance, who worry about their pot belly, who wish they weren’t losing their hair, who love to talk and make new friends, who can’t ever seem to find the right words, who are successful in a career, who are out of work and worry they may never find a job.

Working together instead of at odds over things – why not? Must women attack men at every opportunity, as is occurring in Canada at the moment, in the Armed Forces? A military man is accused of having fathered two children by a woman, also in the military. There are strict rules regarding this, which I admit I know nothing about – but she had TWO children with him apparently. And she blames him now.

Why would a woman not speak up before the children were born, or after the first one? Why wait?

I have been in a bad relationship, but at no time did I or would I consider doing that.

I have great reservations about the accusatory behaviors the last many months, of women who cry out as victims and then denounce men with claims of horrid behavior.  “Poor me! Poor me!”

I am sorry, but there are usually two sides to every story. With the media reports in the world today, we do not hear both sides.

Photo by Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho on Unsplash

Let’s not vilify all men, for the perceived errors and wickedness of a few. Women don’t want to all be thought the same do they? Of course not! We are all individuals.

Let’s support our boys and our men. Help them to be the best people they can be!