I have seen many memes posted on Facebook the last while, that reinforce the idea that ”I am busy and so are you, so if you don’t hear from me for while, it isn’t important. We are still close friends.”
Not! Since when did our personal lives and busyness take over from nurturing close relationships?
In what universe do you live, that you believe that you can just remove yourself from an acquantantices life, and then pop back in whenever it is convenient for you and expect that you will be welcomed with joy and acceptantance?
Do you believe that a relationship deserves that kind of ignoring?
Does a husband and wife, or wife and wife or husband and husband accept that sort of ignoring?
Of course not!
And what makes anyone think that a friendship is any different?
Because – it isn’t.
If you aren’t prepared to spend time and energy on working on a relationship – whether it be a couple situation, a relative situation or a friendship, how can you be so self absorbed as to expect that person will be there for you, will be willing to wait for you, until you are ready to get around to contacting them?
No. Any relationship requires commitment, empathy, and involvement.
If you can’t offer that to another, in a relationship of any kind, then you are too selfish to deserve the caring and loyalty and friendship of another human being.
I was in a very bad place in late 1971, and this song was so very appropriate. And still is today.
Isn’t this what you really feel, isn’t this the real feelings that you have? It’s time to stop hiding our feelings and be honest.
I confess to having taken a break from the daily news the last while. I am tired of the coronavirus talk. No, I do not think the virus is a hoax, and yes, I believe it is a threat to us all.
I am tired of the constant reports, though, and just for a bit, I will think of other things.
I stopped watching about the time Black Lives Matter protests began.
In Canada, we have not only had BLM demonstrations, but here we also have an ongoing problem with the way our indigenous people view the current citizens and the way the indigenous people have been treated over the years, since the first fur traders came, and since the explorers arrived.
In this country, the wrongs and injustices are paid for, by the government, in the form of money distributed to our indigenous people, for things like land claims and the treatment they say they received in the government run residential schools.
I believe – I hope – that our black population has been respected more here, than elsewhere in the world.
I know that there is a lot of animosity towards the immigrants of today, and the refugees arriving in Canada.
I wonder, though, when does the hate and the resentment and the anger at the ”new people” arriving in the country, stop?
So, I have a couple of things I want to say.
First, for the indigenous population, the people who live in Canada today have nothing to do with the explorers, fur traders and settlers that came here and became a part of the country.
So, isn’t it time we, the descendants, can stop having to pay for the ”sins” of our fathers?
Throughout history, the urge to explore has been a fact.
How far back are we supposed to go, before the ”real” people of this country can say that ”they” are the rightful inhabitants?
I think it is very easy to fall into the trap of blaming others for everything that one dislikes about life today.
That doesn’t make it right.
We hear a very one sided story, when it comes to the way Canadians settled in this land.
There were many martyrs, thanks to the indigenous people attacking and torturing the priests who came to spread the message of God’s love.
We don’t ever talk about or hear about that today.
Injustice towards anyone, towards any group of people breaks my heart.
The things that have been reported in the USA about the treatment of black people, is horrendous.
It is wrong. No question.
I think it is time to do this.
Stop expecting money to solve the problems of history.
Stop asking for apologies for things our long dead ancestors did in Canada.
How about this?
Instead of expecting money to solve injustice, we begin a new approach.
Let’s learn to live together. Let’s respect each other.
Let’s – dare I say it – let’s Forgive.
Psychiatrists and psychologists will tell you that an important step in gaining freedom from the past is to accept and to forgive.
It is a concept that seems to have been forgotten today.
We – all of us – need to strive for inner peace. Money and possessions won’t do it.
Let’s all try to stop hating and blaming others.
We need to learn how to live in this world, in harmony with others.
Instead of placing blame, calling names and trying to rewrite the past by destroying history – defacing and tearing down statues – let’s all face the future, together, in a spirit of brotherhood.
Forgiveness does not mean anyone has to stop working for change.
It is a freeing of the spirit, so that great things may be dreamed of and accomplished.
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
I hope you have all weathered through the past several months, since the quarantine and the coronavirus issue. I really did mean to post sooner!
I will tell you that I have cleaned, and sorted and got rid of a lot of unnecessary things, all because I had the time to do it.
If you haven’t done so, don’t feel bad. We all needed to take our own time to get through this change in our lives.
Are you doing okay? I hope so.
We will get through this. Because, we have no choice, do we?
I hope that you will wear a mask when you are in places that require you to be closer to others than the requisite six feet. Think of our vulnerable – the elderly, the immuno-compromised.
My concern today is not with coronavirus only, but with the very frightening – to me at least – apparent change in society of late.
There appears to be a rise in the idea that ”experts” no matter whether in the health field, science or governing organizations, are held in contempt and not respected. We have lost our respect for all of those, including those first responders, that used to be held in such high regard – and now it is the individual, the self, the personal beliefs and opinions that are apparently the only one that counts.
How did this happen? I wish I knew.
Since when did you, as a citizen, become more knowledgeable about things than those who have dedicated their lives to learning and developing expertise in a given area?
What made this world view change so drastically?
Since when do naturopaths and chiropractors deserve the respect and honour that medical doctors with years of training used to have?
Has anyone ever researched where these so called health professionals have learned their trade?
Since when did ”your gut feelings” mean a darn thing?
Is a gut feeling some sort of magic, that appears out of nowhere, because you are suddenly enlightened?
Belief in magic, in pseudoscience, in some wild conspiracy that is bent on removing our basic freedoms is mentally deranged.
Yes, I said it.
I long for the days when science and reason was paramount. When people respected our police, our emergency workers, our health care personnel and science.
I wish that I had a magic answer for the craziness that has taken over the world of late.
I do not.
I plead for our future, for our children and for our way of life, that you, as an individual will stop putting yourself in such a egotistical frame of mind, that you think you know better than the experts.
So if you must, go ahead and fly and go right ahead and take over the controls of the plane – see the photo at the beginning of this post – but don’t think that I will fly with you.
It’s really not what you may think at first. I haven’t suddenly turned to writing adult topics. Rather, I’ve been thinking today, because of my relative’s health issues, how sometimes we put off doing things, for reasons.
Reasons such as “no time” “can’t afford it” “what would people think” “I can’t” and the old standby: “someday”.
Suppose “someday” never comes? Suppose that you miss out on creating a great memory, all because there wasn’t any time to do it? How about missing a trip somewhere, because there were other things to spend money on?
Well, my analogy is this:
Now do you see why I said “Drop That Top?” Yes, a convertible. I am well aware that not all of us own one nor even want one. But. I used to know someone who drove a convertible. There were friends who refused to ride with the top down.
“It’ll mess up my hair.” “I don’t like the wind.” “It’s too cold.”
Always an excuse.
And so a lot of my friends missed out on that wild and fun ride.
Don’t be like them. Don’t be afraid to Drop That Top. Find the time, the money, the energy and the will to go out and try something new, do something surprising or daring. Be yourself but don’t be afraid to stretch your limits.
And so, as I tend to my ill relative, remember, nothing lasts forever. Take chances. You won’t regret it.
All moved in to the new home. It has been a busy time, between the staging, sorting what to keep, to donate and to trash or recycle.
I am just at this minute getting a new small IKEA desk put together by my patient husband. Once that happens, I will have the desktop computer unpacked and set up again.
It turns out that I have a couple of new characters in mind for a story. They are Mr. and Mrs. Heavyfoot.
You see, we have moved into a third floor condo apartment and there is a fourth floor. Now, while Mr. and Mrs. Heavyfoot are really not that bad, there are times when their walking activities can be heard in this apartment. So….I will either kill them or make them suffer in some way.
I finished NaNoWriMo on November 20. Then – I was all written out as it were, so I have not done any writing at all except for personal emails. That counts, though, right?
My word total on November 20 was just over 50,000. I have at least 500 to 1000 words to go, to finish the novel.
This year, I had a rough outline. In the previous four years, I had simply started with an idea and run with it. This year, I had more story to go when I reached the goal count. I think that I will use outlines from now on.
On another note, we sold our house today! That means home hunting begins next week. And a January move – our coldest month, though not always the snowiest.
We’re downsizing, and I look forward to new quarters. We’ve lived here for thirteen years. I love to move house. I like organizing the rooms, and cupboards and so on.
When I was young, my mother moved us a lot. I lived in five provinces in Canada in six years. I hated to move. I dreaded the new school, new faces and the whole process of trying to make friends and fit in. I was not very good at that.
Christmas shopping is done. The tree goes up tomorrow, and the presents will be wrapped and put under the tree too.
Seeing as how the blog time is off from my local time, I am going to class this post as November 5th and 6th. Then maybe I will catch up!
There were two showings of the house booked for today. We went out shopping for Christmas presents during the first showing. The second was later in the afternoon, so we went out for dinner. We had just finished ordering, when the text arrived, that the showing was cancelled until Monday…..rather annoying.
Had a good dinner anyway, and came home to drink a glass of white wine and relax. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? People “should” be going off to church services and spending some time with their families, but they may prefer to search for a new home instead.
Hope to have the home inspection next week, and hope that it will go okay. At least if there is anything wrong, the inspection will let us know, and we can fix it!
NaNoWriMo is at 9044 words today, so still within competition range.
I joined a new (to me, anyway) online writing site the other day. To my horror and discomfort, (a bit of an exaggeration, really) I found the first few posts on the site, that were offered to me to read, all – every one of them – contained the “F Word” in either the title, the body of the piece, or even both.
I have been known to use bad language myself on occasion, such as when stubbing a toe or overcooking fried eggs, but there is a limit to the swearing when I write. I don’t feel it is necessary.
Okay, so if the character is in a rage, I might use a mild expletive, but not the F Word.
I shudder to think that slang as well as bad language is becoming the norm.