I have trouble putting this into words, but I feel that I must. A close family member has been diagnosed with cancer and we will not know until next week what this is going to entail.

Please bear with me as I cannot write this week.

Camp Nanowrimo begins July 1st and I have plans to begin work on my life story at that time.

Thank you for understanding.

I didn’t last at Bert’s and like you’ve read, I had him bring me back to my dad’s place.

***

The day after Martin and I went out to Mayer’s, I braided my hair into a neat plait, and looked through my small closet. I found the black dress I’d worn for Mom’s funeral. That would do. I’d wear it and put on the little gold and pearl chain she’d given me for that last birthday before she died.
I slipped on a pair of flats and I was ready to go. The day was sunny and nearly warm. The walk took a while, as I met up with some of the other neighbors, as they did their yard work, and everyone wanted to chat. I didn’t mind. I thought that my second choice for a job would be at the Golden Age Home. I liked my elderly neighbors.
I got to the hardware store just after nine o’clock. I stepped in and the bell above the door announced my arrival.
Mrs. Jensen, in a bright red shirt that was emblazoned with “Jensen’s Hardware” across the pocket, greeted me.
“Well, Lainie, I see that you took my advice. You look very professional. Now, how about filling out an application?”
“Yes, please,” I said.
Mrs. Jensen walked up to the counter and reached behind, bringing out a sheet of paper.
“You can go into the staff room in back and fill this out. Bring it up to me when you’re done.”
I nodded and took the paper from her hand. I walked to the back of the store and peeked around the corner. There was a small room with a table and chairs, coffee pot and a small fridge.
I sat down at the table and looked over the application form. It was simple enough, asking for my name and address. I stopped when I got to the next line, though.
Experience? What could I fill in there, I wondered. I’d done housework for my parents and for Bert. That was about it.
I wrote it in and then jotted down my reasons for applying. I left out the part about my dad telling me I was useless, though.
I stood up, gathered my pocketbook and the paper, and went back up to where Mrs. Jensen stood. She took the sheet and looked it over. She glanced at me and then she smiled.
“Good work, Lainie. You’re hired. Can you start this afternoon? I’ll give you some company shirts and you can wear your jeans.”
“I’d love to. Oh, thank you so much!”
“Now, don’t get too excited. It’s not a job that pays a lot, you know. And you’re on probation for the first ninety days.”
“That’s not a problem. I amjust so happy that you’ve given me this chance!”
Mrs. Jensen smiled and I left the shop. I felt like I was walking on air all the way back to the house. I changed into one of the shirts that she’d given me, and a pair of jeans.
Dad arrived home just as I was about to leave for work.
“What’re you wearing that shirt for? Where’d you get it?”
“I just got a job at the hardware store, dad.”
“We’ll see how long that lasts before you make some mistake and they fire you.”
Tears filled my eyes, but I refused to let him see. I grabbed my backpack and left the house. I would be early for work, but that was better than late, and I didn’t want to stick around and have dad berate me any more.
I spent that afternoon learning what was stocked and where. Mrs. Jensen showed me how to ring up sales on the cash register. She patted my shoulder after I served my first customer.
“Good for you, Lainie. You were polite and helpful.”
I beamed at her words. Maybe this job would work out for me.

***
When I got back to the house after work, Dad told me to get him a beer as usual and I made supper. It was a good meal and I was proud of my cooking abilities, but Dad said, as he sat down at the table, “What kind of crap is this? Salad? Are you tryin’ to put me on some kinda diet now?”
“Dad, it’s the first course. I’ve got steak and potato pie next.”
He harrumphed and ate. He ate it all up and still complained at me between bites.
“Real men don’t eat salad. That’s some kind of city stuff. Don’t bother making that again, eh?”
I agreed with him just to keep the peace. I trembled as I washed the dishes after the meal. I tried not to cry. I told myself that I was a big girl, and didn’t need his approval. Besides, I was never going to get it, no matter what I did or what I tried.
He left for Mayer’s after that.

***

I went upstairs and into my room. I read a few pages in Moby Dick. My phone rang. It was Kate. We chatted a bit and I told her about my new job.
“Good for you, Lainie! Say, are you interested in sharing my apartment? I could use a room mate to help with the bills. And I know how things are between you and your dad.”
I was overcome with excitement.
“Kate, do you mean it? I’d love that.”
“Great! Let’s meet for coffee tomorrow at Mayer’s. I’m off that day. What hours do you work tomorrow?”
I told her and we agreed to meet up for a discussion of our plans around six o’clock. I was so happy I had trouble sleeping that night. This was going to be my successful move out of the house. I’d get away from my dad, and start a new chapter in my life. One where I was in control and not under my dad’s thumb all the time.
When I fell asleep at last, I dreamed of a huge mansion, and Kate and I were living there, serving coffee to customers who wore red shirts and carried fishing poles and power drills.

When Bert picked me up at the house – for I never, ever thought of it as “home”, he chatted with my Dad for a while until I was ready to go. Bert had a way about him, which made me calm. With Dad, I was always on edge, and never sure if I was doing or saying the right thing. Bert, though, seemed to accept me for who I was and he never, ever belittled me when he came to see my Dad.
Now, as he gathered my bags and led me to his old truck, he said, “The house is warm and welcoming for you Lainie, even though it’s modest and homemade.”
He grinned then, and I smiled back.
I hadn’t had much reason to smile these last few months. Dad was hard to get along with, between his drinking and then his impatience with me. I probably deserved it though. I know that when he told me Mom had spoiled me, he was right.
***
I entered the rustic cabin and looked around. The walls were boards and there was a wood stove in the corner. An area with a wood counter, some rough wood cupboards and a hand pump marked out the kitchen. There was an old cook stove front and center.
When Bert showed me the bedroom that was to be mine, he let me walk in first. The room was small and contained a single bed with a plaid coverlet and a window that looked out on the forest behind the cabin.
“I’ll leave you to put away your things. Then come out and we’ll have coffee. You do drink coffee?”
I nodded. Bert left the room and I unpacked my things. I set my Moby Dick book on the nightstand, which was an old wood crate upended.
I put on my pink sweater and walked out into the main part of the cabin. Bert had coffee ready as he’d promised. I sat down at the small table and Bert joined me. He buttered a scone and I did the same.
“These are good,” I said as I munched.
“Thanks. Scones are one of the few things I do well. I hope your cooking is better than mine,” he said.
I nodded. I took a sip of coffee and said, “Mom taught me how to cook before she got sick. I was glad when that happened that I could take care of her.”
“Your dad’s lucky to have a daughter like you.”
Tears flooded my eyes, unannounced. The issues between me and my dad ran deep like a riverbed.
“I’m sorry about your Mom, Lainie.”
“Thanks, Bert. It’s been over a month, and I still feel lost sometimes.”
“Give it more time. It’s hard to lose someone you care for.” Bert sat back and looked at me.
“I lost my parents in a car accident years ago. Maybe you know the story?”
I shook my head. I’d heard rumors that Bert’s dad deliberately drove his car head on into a semi out on Route 1 but that was all it was – a rumor.
Bert said, “My dad and mom fought a lot when I was a kid. I got used to it, although I never liked it. When they went out that night – going to the bar for drinks – I was left home alone. It was okay with me. Heck, I was fifteen. All grown up, in my way of thinking. Chief Atkins knocked on the door about three hours later. Told me they’d died in an accident.” Bert hesitated, and then he went on.
“Turns out Dad and Mom got to the bar, had a few drinks and then started arguing. The bouncer threw them out. Chief Atkins told me that Dad was driving, and he lost control of the car on that twisty stretch of road just north of town, and went over the center line. Ended up in the direct path of a semi truck.”
“I’m sorry, Bert. It must have been hard.”
“Oh, I had my aunt and uncle from Culvert City out to tend to me, for a couple of weeks. They wanted me to go and live with them, since I was a minor, but I refused. Got emancipated in court and then later I moved out here. I’ve been here ever since.”
“I heard you quit school.”
“Yeah, I never did good anyway in school. I got a job at the mill for a few years, and used my paychecks to build my cabin. I like the peace and quiet.”
I looked at Bert.
“Then why hire me to housekeep?”
“Well, I need someone to keep things up and for a bit of company. Besides, I think you need to be away from your Dad for a while. Just to give him some space.”
I felt my face flush. Did Bert know how bad my relationship with Dad really was?
“I guess I’d better go and feed the cows. You make yourself at home here, now.”
Bert took his jacket from beside the door, and left the cabin.
I looked around and wondered if I would learn to feel at home here. At least I was away from Dad. But it was so quiet! I was used to town with the busy streets and noise. I wasn’t sure that I’d fit in here. What else was there for me to do, though? Jobs were scarce. I walked into my room and sat down in the old rocking chair beside the bed. I picked up my Moby Dick book and started to read. There would be time to think later. For now, I wanted to lose myself in story.

***

I am rather liking Bert. And Martin.  I wonder about Lainie, though. Her character seems to me, to be rather slow to develop. Maybe that is a good thing….